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Pay no attention to the people behind the curtain

Wednesday, January 02, 2008


by folkbum

I have a pretty good track record when it comes to year-end predictions for the next twelve months--I have never been wrong.

That's because I don't make predictions, of course.

However, This year I thought I would take a stab at a few. Some are serious, some are in jest. I look forward to seeing how I do.
  1. An embarrassing number of these predictions will be wrong.
  2. Some conservative Cheddarspherean will misconstrue a cold snap as evidence that global climate change is imaginary, which will really just provide evidence of his or her scientific illiteracy. (If Jib had posted this a few days later than he did, he would have proved me right already.)
  3. A Milwaukee-based conservative talk show host will say something worthy of a suspension--or dismissal--even in the eyes of many conservative fans. He will probably not suffer any consequences.
  4. One or more anonymous Wisconsin bloggers will un-anonymize themselves.
  5. One or more conservative Wisconsin bloggers will claim that Democrats stole one or more elections.
  6. That particular widely-linked and widely-read conservative blogger that shall remain nameless (but Patrick McIlheran thinks he's interesting!) will continue to write posts that are racist, sexist, anti-muslim, or all three at once, and the right will keep reading him and thinking he's interesting. A lefty will slip up once and call somebody a name and suddenly the same righties will turn into the propriety police, citing that as an example of "the hate left." I know--deja vu.
  7. The Iron Man movie will be universally panned.
  8. The Wigderson-Boots and Sabers feud will finally boil over. I don't know what will happen, but rest assured, Wiggy will be smirking when he types the tale.
  9. Dennis Troha won't have Jim Doyle's smoking gun.
  10. Everyone will have a good laugh at how stupid some beauty queen is.
  11. Ben & Jerry's will once again decline to name an ice cream flavor in honor of me. (And we all know "folkbum's bananas and nuts" would have been a hit.)
  12. Party control of both houses of the legislature, both federally and in Wisconsin, will not change.
  13. The Democrat will be elected president in November.
  14. Google will buy something else big and unexpected. Perhaps a small country.
  15. Steve Kagen will be re-elected, causing Kevin Binversie to nearly stroke out.
  16. Louis Butler will also be re-elected. Or, rather, elected, as he was appointed.
  17. I will continue not to give a rip about any Wisconsin sports teams.
  18. George W. Bush will pardon fewer people than you expect, mostly because he's done such a good job obstructing prosecutions that not many people have been convicted. However, most of this list will get pardons in their Christmas stockings.
  19. Eventually, every lefty blogger in Wisconsin will work for me.
  20. I will continue not to be invited as a panelist on "Sunday Insight."
  21. Milwaukee Alderman Michael McGee, Jr., will be convicted on most if not all state and federal charges.
  22. Tom Barrett will be re-elected--by a lot.
  23. Once again I will find myself too busy working this summer to respond to complaints about how I get my summers off.
  24. By the end of the year, we will still have very serious people telling us that "the next three months" in Iraq will prove to be the most critical.
  25. I will be able to eat solid food again. (So far in 2008, it's been iffy. Ugh.)
  26. Ryan Adams will put out three or four more records this year.
  27. The person I hope will win "Top Chef" won't. They never do. I'm like the kiss of death.
  28. The WGA writer's strike will eventually end, but only after people remember how stupid "American Gladiators" is.
  29. "The Simpsons" will continue to suck nowadays.
  30. The United States will win more gold medals than any other country at the Olympics this summer.
And with that, I have made more predictions than Wigderson. Have a good 2008.

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