Well I've Never Been to Spain

By Keith R. Schmitz

More fake news from Andy Borowitz

McCain Proposes Sending Troops to South America to Invade Spain
Vows to ‘Redraw the Map’


GOP presidential nominee John McCain said today that if elected he would send U.S. troops to South America in order to invade "one of America's deadliest enemies," Spain.

Sen. McCain accused Spain of "picking a fight" with the U.S. in recent days, but warned that their "aggression and bellicosity will not stand."

"Spain can run, but it cannot hide," he told his audience at a rally in St. Louis. "I am fully prepared to invade Spain, and if that means sending troops to South America, where Spain is located, then so be it."

The Arizona senator seemed momentarily caught off-guard when a reporter suggested that Spain might be located in Europe, and not in South America, but Mr. McCain soon shot back, calling the reporter's comment "naïve."

"That's the old kind of thinking that I'm going to change when I get to Washington," Sen. McCain said. "My friends, when I am President, I will redraw the map."

His running mate, Alaska governor Sarah Palin, agreed with Sen. McCain's placement of Spain on the world map, telling the St. Louis crowd that "Spain is much closer than any of us realize."

"If you stand on the southern border of Mexico and get up on your tippy-toes, you can practically see it," she said.