"Walker: Tosa Ranger," Episode #96--The Takeover

by folkbum

Characters
Walker: Tosa Ranger
Milwaukee County Board
State of Wisconsin
Left Cheddarsphere, Right Cheddarsphere

ACT I
Milwaukee County Board: We have to fund these positions, or else people will go hungry and be denied benefits guaranteed to them by state law.
Walker: Tosa Ranger: [pounding shoe on podium] No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
Milwaukee County Board: We aren't listening to you and we will follow the law instead.
Walker: Tosa Ranger: Whatever. I'm going to St. Paul.
Left Cheddarspehere: If Scott Walker doesn't fund these positions, people will go hungry and be denied benefits guaranteed to them by state law.
Right Cheddarsphere: We love Scott! We love Scott!

Act II
Milwaukee County Board: You have to hire people to fill the positions we have funded, or else people will go hungry and be denied benefits guaranteed to them by state law.
Walker: Tosa Ranger: [pounding shoe on podium] Privatize, privatize, privatize, privatize, privatize!
Milwaukee County Board: Actually, state law says private employees cannot access the files that need to be accessed before people go hungry and get denied benefits guaranteed to them by state law.
Walker: Tosa Ranger: Whatever. Look over there! [dashes out the door]
Left Cheddarspehere: If Scott Walker doesn't fill these positions, people will go hungry and be denied benefits guaranteed to them by state law.
Right Cheddarsphere: Look over there!

Act III
State of Wisconsin: You have to hire people to fill the positions your Board has funded, or else people will go hungry and be denied benefits guaranteed to them by state law.
Walker: Tosa Ranger: Why don't you do it, then?
State of Wisconsin: Okay, we will.
Walker: Tosa Ranger: That's not fair! That's not fair! That's not fair! That's not fair!
Left Cheddarspehere: We told you so.
Right Cheddarsphere: That's not fair!

Roll credits.

(Note: This episode will re-run weekly for some time.)