Dear Boss,

by folkbum

I'd like to be helpful and point out this new study on the effects of something very near and dear to my heart (literally):

Office nappers now have the perfect excuse: New research shows that a little midday snooze seems to reduce the risk of fatal heart problems, especially among men.

In the largest study to date on the health effects of napping, researchers tracked 23,681 healthy Greek adults for an average of about six years. Those who napped for about half an hour at least three times weekly had a 37 percent lower risk of dying from heart attacks or other heart problems than those who did not nap. [. . .]

"My advice is if you can (nap), do it. If you have a sofa in your office, if you can relax, do it," Trichopoulos said.

So if you should happen to wander into my classroom and find me passed out, it's not because I'm irresponsible or trying to get fired; I'm just trying to stave off the inevitable Big One. It's probably in your best interest just to let me sleep.