(but not if you're Republican Guard)
(with bonus additional rant!)
I called him "the Whopper" for a long time because he's a friggin' liar. Karen Hughes gives him a run for the money, though, lately, but even so, the man seems to have no clear sense of what actually comes out of his mouth. I remember being livid that he could say, in front of Kofi Annan!, that Saddam wouldn't let the inspectors in, and that's why we invaded. And today, some more stuff that I just could not make up even if I were more paranoid than I am:
PRESIDENT BUSH: A year ago, I did give the speech from the carrier, saying that we had achieved an important objective, that we'd accomplished a mission, which was the removal of Saddam Hussein. And as a result, there are no longer torture chambers or rape rooms or mass graves in Iraq.Now, we know that the Whopper gets his news from "people who don't editorialize," rather than, you know, news sources, so it might not have come as a surprise that he didn't know that U.S. troops have been caught running torture chambers and rape rooms or that there are more than a thousand Iraqis in graves from U.S. action just this month.
But no! The Whopper actually knows about the rape rooms and torture chambers, because just minutes after saying there are none in Iraq anymore, he is faced with a question from a reporter about the torture. "I shared a deep disgust that those prisoners were treated the way they were treated. Their treatment does not reflect the nature of the American people. That's not the way we do things in America. And so I--I didn't like it one bit."
It would make my head explode, if I had that kind of cognitive dissonance going on.
(To be fair, U.K. troops may be torturing as well--but these allegations have been being made for nearly a year now!)
And, because he can't just screw up once, he says this:
There's a lot of people in the world who don't believe that people whose skin color may not be the same as ours can be free and self-govern. I reject that. I reject that strongly. I believe that people who practice the Muslim faith can self-govern. I believe that people whose skins aren't necessarily--are a different color than white can self-govern.First of all, I guess we should be glad that the Whopper was standing next to Fellow White Man Paul Martin of Canada when he said that, instead of, say, the aforementioned Kofi Annan. Or any one of the leaders from just about any other country in the world.
And where the hell does he get off implying, anyway, that this is a white country? This is how you know he's not really from Texas. You run into far fewer non-whites at Andover* and Yale, and in the Texas Air National Guard (or at your apartment building full or ambitious secretaries, or on your trips to pick up South American "tropical plants" <cough>coke</cough>, or working for white federal candidates in the south) since minorities disproportinately went to Viet Nam instead of the Guard--fewer strings to pull, don't you know. (* In the 1960s, anyway. Dscount the picture there on the homepage.) Combine that with the clearly phony accent, and the campaign-prop ranch, and you've got a huge chunk of lie carved into the Whopper's very biography.
Anyway, I'm rambling (as is my wont). I'm hungry, it's been a long, gray day, and the leader of the god-damned free world can't find an intelligent thought in his head with a flashlight, both hands, and Dick Cheney pulling the strings.